Awesome Ready to Drink Cocktails (Seriously)

Warning: cocktail mixologists and libation purists look away.

There’s a wave of popularity cresting in booze land… and that wave is made the bright, spritzy, fruit-flavoured pre-mixed drinks. Yes friends, ready-to-drink cocktails are back and back in a big way.

Look around any LCBO, and shelves are heaving under the weight of lemon, berry and tropical fruit-flavoured bottled bevies that are as delicious as they are convenient.

This isn’t your mom’s Wild Berry cooler. Hailing from around the globe and based in vodka, whiskey, wine and any other mixable liquor (which is all of them, FYI), these bottled libations pick up where your favourite Bar Chef left off: tasty, balanced drinks (well, a considerable number of them anyway), totally doable at home with just a twist – or maybe a bottle opener. No tattooed, bearded barkeep required.

Hooper’s Cloudy Lemonade, $3.70 (1 x 500 ml bottle)

Hands down our favourite – favourite! – ready to drink cocktail. But keep reading.

This made a huge splash last summer and has become so popular, it’s often sold out, much to our irritation. Deliciously balanced between sweet and tangy, with a refreshing and bright lemon flavour, this cloudy beverage is lightly carbonated and totally yummy served over ice on a 38 degree day.

Mott’s Clamato Caesar Extreme, $2.65 (1 x 458 ml can) 25￠off until August 16

On days when the hangover just won’t allow you to function well enough to make your own caesars, there’s a canned version to the rescue.

Albeit, a very fiery one. (So if heartburn is an added bonus of your hangover, take note).

Extreme is a good word: firey heat as soon as it hits the tongue, this is like the hot wings (not quite suicide) of beverage alcohol.

Speaking of which, we can also see the smart marketing for appealing to bars. When busy barkeeps are kept hopping during brunch dolling out hangover remedies by the dozen, these crack-and-serve caesars could save immeasurable amounts of time. And time is of the essence when your patrons are dying from the vodka flu.

Caribbean Tw!st Cocktails “Blue Lagoon,” $6.80 (1 x 700 ml bottle)

Let’s talk blue cocktails, shall we?

We’ve heard somewhere that blue drinks are making a comeback. We have no idea why, and it is a frightening thought, but if you are the type of imbiber who needs to be on the cutting edge of trends, we have found the right Ready-to-Drink cocktail for you. Truly.

This Blue Lagoon is surprisingly – even begrudgingly – tasty. A shocking, neon turquoise when poured, it was nearly dumped and passed over. But for the greater good, and being the true professionals we are, we soldiered on, and to great reward. Well, “great” may be extreme, but as far as RTD cocktails go, we are forced to admit, this is pretty good.

Not too sweet with stone fruit and citrus flavours, we have no idea how or why they coloured it blue except for cute marketing purposes – and beach-themed and 80’s nostalgia parties. We digress.

Perky with effervescence and brightly flavoured with peach and orange notes, the sweetness level remains checked at conservative. It’s there, but not cloyingly so.

Crabbie’s Black Cherry, $9.95 (4 x 330 ml. bottles)

Crabbie’s first came to our attention a year ago with its alcoholic ginger beer – it was the favourite flavouring agent of a friend’s Moscow Mules, and one to which she is forever devoted.

There are a bunch of flavours available, the LCBO has four of them, the latest of which is this Black Cherry number. Hailing from the UK, it describes itself as “authentically flavoured.” Not really sure what that means, but a quick search on Crabbie’s website says there are no artifical colours or flavours in the bottle. Good to know.

It is very sweet with obvious cherry flavour. We would probably add soda, prosecco or even vodka to cut the sweetness, but overall this is a tasty, refreshing drink.

Mike’s Extra Dry Hard Lemonade, $2.70 (1 x 473 ml can)

The original Mike’s Hard came out around 20 years ago and was so sweet it made out throats hurt within a few sips. It was crazy popular though, as kids in their early 20’s could down them by the gallon, and with youthful vitality on their side, still wake up fresh as a daisy. (Those were the days…)

The newest Mike’s has a descriptor on the can that reads, “intriguingly less sweet.” And they’re right. This vodka-based, lemon cocktail is refreshing with restrained sweetness and bright lemon flavour. It may be time to pay Mike a visit and party like it’s 1999.

Jack Daniel’s “Country Cocktail” Watermelon Punch, $12.95 (6 x 296 ml bottles)

Sweet, but not cloying, this has good watermelon flavour with an undercurrent of whiskey. Refreshing on ice, or would even make a great base for Sangria.

Myx Fusions Moscato Peach, $10.95 (4 x 187 ml bottles) $1 off until August 16

How cute is this bottle? We can see Millennials everywhere lounging poolside in itty-bitty Michael Kors designer bikins sipping this delicately sweet sparkler through straws. Ball. Er.

The boozy project of Nicki Minaj, we see the marketing and get how this would appeal to the fabulous 20-something set. Us? Far removed from the Millennials, and staunchly set in the sort-of fabulous late 30-something set, to us it kind of smells like a chlorinated community pool, but the soft, peachy, grapey flavours are there. So decent marks on taste.

We would probably use this as a base for Bellinis or mimosas. While lounging fabulously in Costco designed stretch pants.