This Valentine’s Day, We’re Staying In

This is how the morning was spent: searching through restaurants’ online reservation systems in vain trying to secure an increasingly elusive Valentine’s Day reservation at a reasonable time.

Clicking through the time slots at about 10 different restos, it appears all that’s available are the 5:30 or 9:30 seatings — if anything is available at all.  And as we are trying to squeeze in a larger V-Day group of about 4 to 6, and not the standard Feb 14th deuce as is so customary, we are, as they say, S-O-L.

What’s that, you say?  Why would we be looking for a larger group to dine out on a Tuesday evening?  Well, for starters, the rest of the dining world does not go into hibernation on the day the day the Lovers Come Out to Play.  And further to that, it’s Erin’s birthday, and every year she gets snubbed by those doing something more romantic, so we thought we’d celebrate like the rest of the human race and go out in style.

Alas, foiled again.  But the more we think about it, the more we wonder, is staying in on Valentine’s Day really such a bad thing?

We’ve worked a long time in restaurants and have grown a bit weary of the hoopla that surrounds February 14th.  The pricey prix fixe menus for two, the cheesy decorations, the embarrassing practice of giving a single red rose to all the women dining in the place and the boat loads of couples who don’t normally dine out, but feel some sort of obligation to do so, because, well, it is Valentine’s Day, after all.

Now before you accuse us of being haters, we are not.  We think it’s a hard world out there so any chance people are given to celebrate something good, they should take it and go crazy.  But just like 3-hour lineups at an amusement park for a 30 second roller coaster ride, at some point, the fun has jumped the shark.

So instead of fighting for a reservation, and ultimately accepting whatever leftover time slots are available, and the relatively high chance of getting a server who mentally checked out a few hours ago, we’re staying in and celebrating with our favourite wines paired with some really delicious food to be shared with some of the people we love the most.

If you find yourself in the same boat, consider throwing a themed V-Day party of your own: include foods that are know to ignite passion and serve these amourous goodies with wines to really set the senses ablaze.

Asparagus – Because of its phallic shape, asparagus fall under the Law of Similarities & is considered a powerful motivator for romance with authors through out time giving it a shout out for its sensual properties.
Pair with: Cloudy Bay Sauvignon Blanc, Marlborough, New Zealand 2012 $29.95 Vintages 304469

Avocado – The Aztecs referred to the avocado tree as “Ahuacuati” which means “testicle tree.” ‘Nuff said.
Pair with: Rudolf Rabl Löss Grüner Veltliner, Kamptal, Austria 2011 $13.95 Vintages 295709 

Basil – Sweet basil has been used to stimulate sex drive for centuries.  Women used to stop their men from straying into the arms of another by powdering their bosom with dried basil — apparently it drove the guys wild.
Pair with: Vineland Estates Unoaked Chardonnay, Ontario $12.95 LCBO 669374

Chocolate – Um, duh.  Scientifically speaking, chocolate contains chemicals that affect neurotransmitters in the brain and make you want to, ahem, study chemistry.
Pair with: Tawse Cabernet Franc Icewine 200 ml., VQA Niagara Peninsula, ON $34.95 Vintages 306035

Figs – For those with one-track minds, the insides of figs are said to resemble female sex organs, and a man breaking one open and eating it in front of his female lover is considered a strongly erotic act.
Pair with: Ruffino Serelle Italian Vin Santo Del Chianti, Tuscany, Italy 2008 $24.95 Vintages 1008

Honey – In ancient Egypt, honey-based medicines were used to cure sterility & impotence.  In modern day porn, it’s a useful edible prop.

Pair with: Domaine Viticole Domaine de la Ville de Colmar Pinot Gris, Alsace, France $17.95 Vintages 295634 

Oysters – Leave it to the Italians, but oysters’ aphrodisiac properties were documented by the Romans as far back as 2 AD.
Pair with: Sauvion Muscadet Sèvre Et Main Sur Lie, Loire Valley, France 2010 $12.95 LCBO 143016

Pine nuts – A libido stimulant since Medieval times, pine nuts have been a key ingredient in love potions through out the ages.
Pair with: Pascal Marchand Meursault, Burgundy, France 2010 $57.95 Vintages 285866

Truffles – Again, this is an Italian discovery.  The heady scent of the rare truffle is rumoured to heighten skin’s sensitivity to touch.
Pair with: Batasiolo Barolo, Piedmont, Italy 2007 $29.95 LCBO 178541

Wine – Wine in itself is an aphrodisiac.  It relaxes us, loosens us up.  Just make sure you pace yourself, as Girls Gone Wild is not exactly the picture of romance.  Unless that’s your thing.  Then giv’er.